Whenever we are hurt, depressed, or dejected we are told to heal. “Heal yourself” is the common parlance which one comes across often. For the past couple of years I’ve heard this phrase as frequently as ‘good morning’ or ‘how are you’. Initially, I used to get perplexed by the thoughtful suggestion of ‘healing myself’ given to me by friends. I used to wonder how I could heal without going to a psychiatrist. Was I being considered a probable case of mental ailment? No one would ever explain it to me how to go about it but they were sure to mention that I needed to heal myself. Whenever, I used to ask about how to do it the answer would again be “Just heal yourself”. It was indeed exasperating. I soon realized that this could be the case with so many other people like me. I thought it was time I did a small research of my own on this issue.
I referred to journals, internet, and books. The journals seemed too brief to give a satisfying answer to my quest. Most of them already presumed that the reader was aware of what ‘healing’ was. Internet was a distraction in itself and books were too demanding on my tight time schedule. In short, I was not prepared to take the help of either of these sources. Yet, I wanted to be ‘healed’. One of my friends suggested I played “Enigma” while driving to and fro from work. I started listening to it but it too turned out to be one of the melodious noises amidst the honking traffic. The music played and my mind kept thinking about how to heal myself. I decided to meet the psychiatrist. There were series of tests and consultations. On the last day of my consultation my psychiatrist said “You need to heal yourself.” I snapped back “…..then what was I doing all these days walking in and out of your office” He reiterated, “Heal yourself, if you want these sessions to show result.”
I drove home, went straight to my room, and looked straight into the mirror. I told myself “You better heal yourself now” but the image asked “How”…I said “Just heal.” I kept on repeating these words to myself consciously and subconsciously. Soon, I realized this was the only thing I was thinking. There was no room left for any other thought. I had soon forgotten about the antagonizing thoughts and feelings. My brain was fully occupied by the thought of “healing myself”. I asked myself “Hey is this healing”. I was on the verge of finding my own little truth on ‘‘healing myself”
I would like to share my ‘own little truth on healing’ here. I am not sure if it’s going to be of any help but it did help me come to terms with my anguishing circumstances.
1. Energy always flows where attention goes. For instance, if we want to lose weight we channelize all our energy to work outs. Similarly, if we need to heal spiritually and emotionally we need to harness our energies to thoughts which promote the spiritual and emotional well-being. Each one of us is bestowed with bodies which are custom made to our respective requirements so we call them ‘my body’. Our body always gives us signals and clues about the things which would heal it the best. We must learn to pick up those signals. For some people looking at the rising sun lifts their mood, others heal by listening to music, while some might just love walking barefoot on the dewy grass. These may appear insignificant but they do help in healing. We can call them as the tiny ‘building blocks’ of our emotional well-being. Believe me when I say that the energy invested in these building blocks is much better than the energy spent in driving to the psychiatrist’s office.
2. Healing is ‘Forgiving and Forgetting’. We can never heal ourselves if we are constantly holding grudges against people, life, and situations. We tend to lose our calm on petty issues like being stuck in the traffic, being snapped at by a rude commuter, or by a small tiff at home. Before getting upset if we just pause and ask ourselves “Is it really worth being upset?” I’m sure the moment we ask ourselves this question we will soon be out of that room, situation, or mood. The likes, dislikes, grudges, and hatred form a vicious circle which soon eats into our emotional health. Healing is nothing but being able to ‘Forgive and Forget.’
3. Healing involves being ‘Grateful and Appreciative”. Happiness is always attributed to how successful a person is. Happiness has become synonymous with materialistic gains. If you are affluent you are happy. People have ceased to find or rather have forgotten to look for happiness in their day-to-day lives. A few kind words or just one thoughtful gesture in a day can do wonders to our emotional health.
4. The key to healing is ‘self appreciation and self-love.’ If we fail to respect and love ourselves no one else would ever will. The first step to healing is falling in love with us. We must learn to appreciate, pamper, and reward ourselves. Our being alive should be a reason enough for celebration.
5. Healing involves making a list of people and situations. Take a green marker. Mark in green the people and situations which make you feel happier, wanted, and loved. These are the positive people/situations in your life which would teach to be appreciative. They will always empower you with their goodness. Now, mark in red the people/situations that drain you completely. These are the gnawing factors of your life which need to be either completely erased or ignored in the chapter of your life. It is not feasible to get rid of the negative people always as they may be someone very close to us. The best way to heal under such circumstances is to be “GRATEFUL” to such negative people/situations. Yes, you’ve read it right! Be grateful to them because they taught you valuable lessons in life and made you ‘identify what you don’t want in your life’.
These are few things that I learnt about ‘healing’ via trial and error method. Life is nothing but hitting the right chord at the right moment. Virtues like forgiveness, gratitude, and appreciation should be generously incorporated in our lives. Healing happens when our energy is directed toward weaning our mindset from not-to-favorable situations and people at the right time.