Are You Stuck In Life: Use 5 Simple Tips

In everyone’s life there comes a time when we might feel stuck in life. We may feel engulfed in the chains of monotony that hold us hostage. Our ambitions and aspirations go for a toss.

Deep down we are aware of our problems and maybe of the solutions too. Yet, there is something that keeps holding us back. It does not allow us to free ourselves from the mundane situation. At this point, we yearn for a breakthrough or a change that could breathe a new life into our seemingly hopeless life. The entire process seems to be daunting and exhausting.

Slowly, a feeling of ambiguity and despair creeps into our personality. Now, this is a point where we have to decide whether we want to remain a victim of the circumstances or would we try to come out of our comfort zone and start all over again. It is easier said than done because our fears and apprehensions will pull us back from the very thought of moving forward. Remember, it's natural. 

Feeling stuck is just not a feeling of being helpless but it is also very depressing and time consuming. It thrives on our mental peace and gnaws at our day-to-day routine.

While feeling stuck, a person is unable to make any big or pertinent decision. They take more time than usual to make a careful assessment of their decisions and this is again arduous. We tend to get trapped in a whirlpool of reasons which convince us not to change our situation.  Here, we start looking for support in the form of some sign from the universe which assures us. 

We must have realized that while we are feeling stuck it is much easier not to make any big decisions. There is a tendency to avoid making any big or small changes to the situation. Decision making especially when we are feeling stuck in life is an uphill task. We fear not making it again. It also induces feelings of anger and depression.

No matter how terrible it is, staying stuck becomes more appealing than moving out of the situation. 

The 5 steps to follow when feeling stuck

1. Learn to be brave

Being courageous is not so easy.  It means that we have to do something that we are not comfortable with. We take the plunge and do it anyway. At times, being a little fearful works as it makes us more conscious and cautious  about the decisions we’re going to make. Remember we are like the toddler who is trying to take the first step. He is scared of falling but his determination to walk makes him overcome his fear.  Like the toddler we may stumble or fall but then rest assured we will also run.

2. Challenge your Beliefs

Over a period of time, we tend to have certain fixed notions or beliefs about certain aspects of our lives. These assumptions may or may not be viable. Write them down on a piece of paper. Introspection is the first step. Second, brainstorm some new ideas. The whole purpose behind this task is to find new methods to come out of the situation.  Going back to the old ideas would only make one feel more stuck in life.

3. Choose your inner circle

We must be having people around us who have the best intentions for us. They may be family or friends. Remember, they are our true confidants because they know us inside out.  Select the people you confide in very wisely because not all friends or relatives may be right for you, but some will definitely be. Sit down with them and discuss your strategy. They will be patient listeners and may give you some valuable input as well.

4. Have a foresight

It’s very important to have a vision in life.  Map it in your mind. Make your mind your vision board. We must learn to look beyond our apprehensions. Learn to ignore short-term anxieties and fears. Visualize yourself as one, two, or even five years later.

5. Imagine the worst case scenarios

List down the worst that can happen to you. At least, you get to know that nothing worse can happen beyond this point. Immediately, you tend to feel a bit relieved. Now, carefully assess each of the scenarios. Ask yourself how you are going to handle each of them. Can you find a solution for them?  The solution may not be very easy but the very fact that there is a solution makes you going. It instills an element of confidence. Now, break from the shackles of fear and anxiety and plan to walk out of the situation.

Use these strategies and help yourself to move forward.

                                                                         

Reminisce The Unforgettable

 I have never really thought about aging even though I am gradually moving toward my golden years with  the silver crown in the making. Today, as I was trying to cross a busy road  my children cautioned me to be careful. It suddenly occurred to me that it was not long before I was telling the same to them. For a moment, I felt I was in a time machine and I could see the three versions of me: the past, the present, and the future! Couple of decades back I was this young woman brimming with life and its nuances with a dream to look beyond the horizon. Today, “the now of me” is trying to figure out the " why” of my existence. The “future”comes with the expiration date…..let it unfold as it may…. “With mirth and laughter let the wrinkles come”

Hey! Wrinkles I beckon you to weave a story of love, friendship, and laughter. As wise say, “ Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art”

I started this page to share my perspective on the “golden years” lived. Time is that one “quintessential tough guy” that creates a bouquet of memories and moments that never fail to bring back that glimmering smile.

It’s great to relive our golden experiences in the form of pictures, videos, songs, or anecdotes. It does help as a soothing balm to the heart, mind, and soul.

      

                                                                          

The Lifetime Worrier!

It goes without saying that being an adult is synonymous with worrying. It somehow makes us feel more “mature and in control.” The number of horizontal lines on the forehead display the “WQ” or the “worry quotient” . If you are fortunate enough then you may have some verticals as well adorning the third-eye landscape. A somber look on the face with a few fidgety gestures seem to have everything right in place to call one a “successful worrier”

The growth curve of my “worrying career” looks more remarkable as compared to my “professional” one, giving me exponential returns and bonuses in the form of anxiety attacks and tachycardia. Is being a perpetual worrier bad? That’s debatable! I have worried about my daughter not being home on time, a school project left unattended till the date of submission, or what to serve at a birthday party. On a daily basis, this looks normal. But, if I take into account the number of years invested in worrying about non-consequential things then the data does look alarming.

Let’s stop for a moment and think….how many years we have spent on worrying about absolute useless things. How many sleepless nights we spent fretting over issues which we don’t even remember now. Is it not strange that we cannot even recall most of the things we worried about so sincerely. Only a few incidents can be reckoned that may have made you feel really anxious, for example a death of a family member or losing a job. In short, what remains of unprecedented situations with us is that which has impacted us the most. Others have just vanished into thin air.

Now, as I am aging I feel I need to check my habit of worrying unless I want to welcome unwanted guests like hypertension and cardiac issues. I regret not utilizing that “worry time” achieving something worthwhile like writing, socializing, or traveling. Let me replace the word “regret” as it sounds like a milder version of worry. Refrain is the better word.

The girl with the twinkle in her eyes........

                                                                             

Somewhere in the world there was a little girl with such splendid understanding that she'd see the entire cosmos like a poem or story.  Whatever her name was, she was pretty. She had thick mane of black hair, a quick smile, and a pair of twinkling eyes. The world was hers to make new discoveries and lasting memories. Her father was her mentor who encouraged her dreams and assured her that someday she would be living out her fantasy.

However, as time went by the girl was gone, buried in the past. She knew she was a woman for better or worse who had to follow the beaten path. She was married. She could see her little world of fantasy falling apart,but she was no ordinary woman. She clung to her passion for writing. Her pen was her best friend and the words her pearls. None could understand her for they had not lived her dream. Some chided her, some scoffed at her, and some sighed at the effort they thought was futile.

She was not an ordinary woman. She was a genius who lived in her own world of tangency. It was difficult to understand her. She was a strong and a brave lady. She knew that the life she was leading could not get her where she wanted to be, yet she continued doing what was expected of her.  It takes a lot of selflessness and guts to give up on something one believes strongly in.

None could see her sacrifice or the silent pain she underwent. Several times, she was misunderstood and misquoted. It had to happen because none could match her genius to understand what she wanted or expected.Perhaps putting it across in the layman’s language was just not her cup of tea.  

As the years flew by the little girl withered into an old lady. Somewhere deep inside she still clung to her childhood fantasies. The little girl’s flying gait was reduced to mere trudge. The faint old eyes replaced the twinkling eyes. Her shoulders stooped with the burden of decades. While everything changed; only one thing remained constant.It was her pen! It continued to be her best friend which still understood her completely.

Her story would have continued but one winter morning decided to dispel her from the darkness of this world.  It was a beautiful conclusion of a great passion. The girl with twinkling eyes bid adieu assuring that death was just the beginning of a second chance to fix all that mattered to her and her loved ones.  The noble, logical diagram once recorded never dies.  She taught us to aim high in hope and work  for she believed that there is light at the end of every tunnel.